Friday, June 5 evening

One of the things that happen when you spend as much time in the ICU waiting room as we have is that you get to know the families of the other patients sharing space with John. We are a unique fraternity in that there are no other circumstances which might have caused our paths to cross yet we are in a situation which brings out all ranges of emotion and we travel on the same roller coaster while occupying different seats. Sometimes we are on the top of the highest hill and other patients family members are at the bottom and sometimes it is reversed and most of the time, we are at that point of anxious anticipation with our stomachs in our mouths waiting to hear what the next hurdle might be. We ask each other every day how things are going and sometimes it is a tearful nod and sometimes there are bright smiles and good news and a lot of times, we are all simply waiting. We talk about John and they talk about their mother who has recently undergone bypass surgery or another man talks about his mother's infection and how she is doing. The lexicon is unique in that when we say, "How are you", we are really asking so much more. What I can tell you is that there are fervent fans in the waiting room more devout than any team affiliation. We tell stories about John and hear stories about their loved ones prior to whatever event has caused them to be in that ICU waiting room. My favorite family has the Mom who is in her 80's and has had heart bypass surgery. This woman was using an elliptical trainer two weeks ago and chasing her great grandchild which is more than I can say about myself! Her daughters and husband don't miss a chance to see her and often spend the entire day in the waiting room until that next small window when they can go in and comfort her and they comfort us too. Another gentleman seems to never leave the hospital. I pass him daily to and from the parking lot and today he received some good news and we were first to hear. I could tell by the look on his face that some of the strain was gone and his jaw was less clenched. The kindness of people in this situation astounds me and truly makes the seemingly endless hours waiting, go by faster. There is also a hospital intern named Matt who is stuck in the business center doing paperwork who has also had to be a therapist. He probably signed up for the internship knowing there would be some grunt work but not knowing that he would be spending his first two weeks listening to our family's issues however you must admit that this could no doubt help his skills as hospital administrator. He has a kind and familiar face and seems like the little brother that Holly and I never had. I should mention that this is an unpaid internship!

Today, John received some new shoes which are quite elegant. They have lambs wool (probably synthetic so please don't call P.E.T.A. on us!) on the ball and heel of the foot and go up to near his knees. This will help with the "drop foot" issue and allow nurses to keep an eye on his feet and toes. I am pretty sure that astronauts boots are made by the same manufacturer! There are also these velcro wraps around his calves which inflate every so often to make sure no blood clots form. He is also on a super fancy bed which can best be described as a series of air pillows laid on their sides. This is to help preclude any pressure spots and allow him to be comfortable in pretty much any position. I was thinking that it would be an amazing bed to curl up on and take a nap were the circumstances different.

Today, Holly and John's brother Ray shaved his head. John usually does this every day and he seemed to feel pretty! He was turning his head toward voices and when Holly asked him for a kiss he made a fish gesture with his mouth. He did this more than once and really seems to be turning his head toward us and wanting so badly to respond. He moves his legs and arms at times and although is not doing these things on command, it isn't spastic and is so calculated as if we put his hand in the wrong place and he is showing us where he wants it. I must say that if you don't like being touched or talked to, ours is definitely the wrong family to be sick in! John will probably not want a hug for years after this and I can't say as I blame him.

This weekend, we aren't expecting many changes and we just keep watching and being with John as he slowly and methodically emerges from his safe place.

I want to express that while this blog provides information to lots of people, I find it cathartic and hope that at some point John will read it and know that he is so loved. My goal remains being able to allow everyone to stand at his bedside and see things through our eyes. If specific questions arise, please do not hesitate to email me at the link provided. Holly also asked me to remind folks about church on Sunday (see earlier post for details) and welcome everyone to come including those that might not know John well. We know that some people want to support those of us on the periphery and have become attached to his well-being because it is so important to us. We are grateful for John's daily progress and also for the constant, unfaltering support from you.