Sunday, August 16, 2009

Saturday August 15

The past 10 and 1/2 weeks have been a whirlwind to say the least. There have been times of stress, worry, excitement and our emotions have truly run the gamut in terms of the spectrum of feelings you have when you love someone who has been through what John has. There are times when we are in awe and so excited about the progress John is making and then there are times when we simply miss the way things were and feel desperate to get back to how things used to be. We are forging the future with John and it seems a bit uncertain about what it might look like but whatever it looks like, we know it will be full of love and joy and we remain consistently grateful that John is doing as well as he is.

I believe that a lot of the feelings we have are somewhat selfish. It is a lot about what we miss and although it is certainly tempered with gratitude, we all miss the little things about John and darn it; we miss being able to do things with him. The above photo is of John and Hudd at Holly and John's house at Christmas. I wish I could provide the accompanying smells of turkey in the oven or the taste of Paulette's green bean casserole or Holly's mac and cheese (which is the best I have ever had!).

Recently, Holly drove past Spring Branch Elementary School (where John teaches) and started crying. She told me that the thing that upset her the most was that she knows that the kids will miss him. There have been times when a student came to school in need of shoes and John bought them for them and other times when a student who doesn't have a father figure at home looked toward John to fill that void. I'm quite sure that his co-workers are missing him right now too. School is starting soon and I'm thinking that those long in-service days just aren't as enjoyable without the class clown in the room!

The most amazing thing about this is that those of us who see John on a regular basis believe that John will make a full recovery and he will be back in his old classroom soon but in the meantime he continues to teach. He teaches that resiliency comes from a place deep in the soul and that the will to survive and thrive is personal. He teaches that being spiritual and talking the talk is one thing but actually living each day (even after such a traumatic event) is really about being kind to those around you and exuding the love and positive attitude which enables him and us to heal. Although you are never certain who feels this love, when the chips are down, it is a pretty fantastic thing to see just how many folks John has touched, and continues to touch everyone who comes into contact with him. Granted, his students have changed a bit since June 2, but we have learned so much throughout this process and recognize that although we may not understand or be able to fathom why this would happen to such a great guy, in some ways it seems apparent that the fact that it happened to him allows him to continue to impart knowledge to everyone around him. We simply need to take the time to listen and provide him the podium to speak in whatever way he deems necessary.

I recently asked John if he would like for me to put anything on the blog from him and his immediate response was, "Tell everyone thank you and that I couldn't have done it without you".

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