Saturday September 26

There have been some amazing changes in John's progress as of late. In the past couple of weeks, I mentioned that we switched John's physician in an effort to further his progress. Some recent tweaking of his medications has done wonders for his progress and I am so happy to report that John is now walking with no assistance. He needs some coaxing at times to help remind him to regain his balance or reposition his arms however his gait is really close to normal and he is in little or no pain as he stands and walks. His new physician, Dr. Ivanhoe, recognized that John's ankles were turning in a bit particularly on his left foot so she put a temporary cast on it (approximately 5 days) in an effort to correct the problem and she also put John on a medication which has helped with muscle rigidity. It worked! His ankles are more straight and seeing him walk now versus several weeks ago makes us realize the true progress John is making. He is also more communicative and as each day passes his memory improves and he is able to express himself better which helps us to keep him comfortable.

Staff continue to be impressed with John's progress and they have decided that John will remain at TIRR for at least another month. This is great news because it further reaffirms that he is making excellent progress in their eyes too. Their original goal for John was that he would walk unassisted for 100 feet but it appears that once again John has raised the bar and new goals will be set soon. John will also be having some tests this week to ensure that there are no medical issues which might be precluding him from reaching new heights in his progress. It may seem that some of these things should have happened sooner in terms of his treatment but I will tell you that we believe that his new physician is more proactive and focused on John's success. I suppose that the doctor patient relationship is like any other relationship in that it's important to "click". We believe that John's current physician does just that with John and with us. There is good communication and we look forward to the new solidarity approach to John's recovery.

HELLO EVERYONE!!

I just wanted to update you that so far I haven't gotten any takers for the softball tournament. Please get some folks together and lets fill up the 16 team bracket! I received these photos today...this is the t-shirt that will soon be for sale and it brought me to tears! I will post the price as soon as I have it. For those of you who don't know, I am in Dallas this week for work so my email response may be slow but I will continue to post updated information about John and this upcoming fundraiser. Thanks as always for your support and love for John and his family.

BIG BIG BIG NEWS!!! PLEASE READ AND PASS ALONG TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

The following was sent to me by Rebecca Fuchs, who works with John and has been an amazing divining rod of inspiration and overall loving and caring supporter of John and Holly...

I wanted to give you an update on what has been happening here in Spring Branch ISD as far as fund raising efforts for John and Holly.

1) The Health Ambassadors voted to open a division of the annual Softball Tournament to accept teams from the Harris family and friends. I mentioned this possibility to your earlier…so now comes the part for you…I need to get the word out to his fishing buddies, referee buddies, college buddies, high school buddies, Holly’s friends, church friends, Holly’s work associates, etc…anyone that wants to “play for John”…this softball tournament is his signature event…the cost for a team entry is $150 and their team will be placed in the Competition Bracket…a special bracket for outside teams…we have never done this before…it has always been a closed event to SBISD employees only…

There will be availability for 16 teams to be made up of non-employee supporters of John. This tournament has been John's trademark event and they have so graciously agreed to continue to honor him in including him. Rebecca mentioned that the tournament has always been played by "John's Rules" and although I don't have all of the specifics as of yet, I do know that teams must have 5 male and 5 female players. Teams will have ten players total and I will post more of the list of "John's Rules" when I get them. If you would like to enter a team for this tourney, please email me at melanie.moynahan@gmail.com. This will be a first come, first serve opportunity but we would love to have as many folks as possible play in support of them so if you are a single or a few, email me and I will try my best to form other teams.

2) There is a t-shirt being designed with “Coach” in mind…I will let you know when these shirts are ready for purchase and you can help me sell to others outside of SBISD.

At this point we don't have an idea of what the cost will be but if you think you might be interested in purchasing a t-shirt, just email me and give me a number with sizes, etc. and I will do my best to make them available at the tournament on October 17, 2009. I am also going to try to set up a way to make them available online to be shipped. I will try to get photos up of what they will look like but it would be great if we could show our support at the tournament and heck, every day by wearing our "Coaches Crew" t-shirts!

3) The Spring Branch Health Fitness Teachers Association voted to host a fund raiser for John and over 30 people from the association have met to plan this event. It is taking on the resemblance of a raffle…they have contacted the Rockets for a donation of an item and the Rockets have come through with a yes…tickets are being designed and printed and will be ready for purchase mid October with the drawing happening before Thanksgiving.

This is a biggie. We are hoping to get some sports-related or even some non-sports related items donated. The tickets for the raffle will be $10 for one or 3 for $25 and will be sold at the softball tournament but I am also trying to figure out how to do that through the blog. The drawing won't actually be until November so more details to come.

This softball tournament will take place on October 17, 2009. At this point, there are a few things that we need. If you have a team of ten players, and would like to enter the tourney, the $150 entry fee will be due by October 1, 2009. I realize this is soon but my thought is that if you have some friends or family who like to play, that's $15 dollars per player!

We feel so blessed and cannot thank the staff of SBISD enough for this wonderful opportunity. While Holly and John are extremely prideful people, it has become obvious that help from others is essential in John's recovery process. There will be availability for 16 teams to be made up of non-employee supporters of John. This tournament has been John's trademark event and they have so graciously agreed to continue to honor him in including him. Rebecca mentioned that the tournament has always been played by "John's Rules" and although I don't have all of the specifics as of yet, I do know that teams must have 5 male and 5 female players. Teams will have ten players total and I will post more of the list of "John's Rules" when I get them. One thing we might also need is a couple of seasoned softball umpires to call the games so if you have some experience please email me...

There are two key players that I am asking to email me...Samuel Karns and Kate Stoll...please email me so we can share contact information!!!

General Info

I write this with a previously unimaginable gut-wrenching, heavy heart. Each of us has a favorite or many favorite stories about our friend, brother, son, husband, uncle and beautiful person John Harris. We have all been shocked to the core and deeply saddened by what has happened over the past several days and we hope to send a direct response to each of you and this is the most efficient way to do so.

It became apparent immediately that a central source of information is essential in this process. While we are forever grateful for the overwhelming outpouring of love and prayer, it is hard to relay important and accurate information of John’s medical status and progress and I hope that this blog will enable each of you to check in each day to see how John is doing. We hope to alleviate some phone calls to the family to help them be with John without distraction.

John’s family has asked me to thank everyone for everything and to let you know how much your support has meant to them. We are all in shock about this happening to John and ask that you hug those close to you so that they might be reminded how much you love them and about the fragility of life.

I would also like to say that I have included as many details as possible and some of them are graphic.

I wanted to start by giving the facts of what has transpired over the past few days and give the best information that we have about what has happened, where we are, and what we know to the best of my ability. I will be trying to update this daily so please keep checking in.

Please scroll to the bottom for the oldest post and if you are trying to get to the beginning, it is some pages back.

Friday September 18

Here are some recent photos of John. As hard as we try, it is still difficult to get John to just give a simple smile! He has always made crazy faces for pictures and that certainly hasn't changed. John continues to receive therapy to help him walk more comfortably and with more fluidity. While there are times when it is painful for him (you can see him wincing in the photo of him pushing the basket), he must push through this pain in order to get to the point where his body is once again able to work without assistance.

Holly also recently switched his physician in hopes that a new perspective and more aggressive approach might push him to the next level. His medications have been difficult to regulate and although each patient is different, we are trying to figure out what works best for John. His muscles are more rigid than his physician would prefer so there will soon be come discussions about treatments which might better help him with that. Oddly enough, one such treatment is using Botox to help relax his muscles a bit. I'm hoping to be there with him if he has this treatment and see if they can use any leftovers on me!

The photo of John with the dogs is a fantastic organization called Caring Critters and they come visit with lots of furry friends every week. John lights up when we visit but I can tell you that nothing gets him as excited as seeing a four-legged friend. It soothes him in a way that is indescribable and he is so calm when they leave. Speaking of pups, Holly and John's beloved Boston Terriers have settled into the lap of luxury in Boerne at our folks house. They receive constant attention and all three of them sleep with our father, Ed who described it best when he said that sleeping with them is like being part of a litter! They all like to sleep under the covers and when they get comfortable, they do not move. Honeygal is also going up today to spend some time with them and they have also enjoyed our nephew Riley's visits. He is young enough to really play with them and run around with them and wear them out.

I feel compelled to mention that although I have been less than diligent about updating the blog, there are a lot of things which must be accomplished each day to help John along. There is a constant barrage of paperwork to be filled out, meetings with therapists and physicians and the day-to-day upkeep of John's laundry and making sure that he is receiving exceptional care. Holly has remained close to TIRR so that she can be with him on a daily basis and give him the stability of knowing that she is close by and coming to see him. When medication adversely affects John, Holly is always the first to notice and the first to advocate for him when change is necessary. Her perseverance and love for John never cease to amaze me and although I know she gets upset at times at the overall situation, her steadfast love for John and hope for his soon return to their "normal" life is unwavering.

Wednesday, September 9

This month will be a busy one for me. I am currently in El Paso, Texas for work but am receiving constant updates from Holly on John's condition. In the past couple of weeks, evenings are difficult. John will sometimes start being agitated and even get worked up to the point of being confused or having hallucinations. We are told that this is a common occurrence with people who have brain injuries but it is difficult to see John in such emotional and in his mind, physical pain. This is a process and it is a constant reminder that we are far from the finish line in John's journey but his brain continues to heal and it is hard to predict what might happen next.

My room here in El Paso looks out toward the border between Texas and Mexico. I remember the days when it was safe to cross and have a meal or see some sights in Mexico, but Juarez has recently made the news for some barbaric activity so I am content to remain on Texas soil. I look out over the lights and while I know I won't be seeing them up close it seems that John is in the same position. He is in a situation which provides him a safe setting but at the same time precludes him from his prior life. He doesn't seem to be agitated by being at TIRR. He doesn't ask to leave, or seem sad when we leave. He has a spiritual acceptance which I strive for and he seems comfortable and healthy and he has a love for those near him which is unexplainable. He has a level of gratitude which never ceases to amaze me and always reaches out a hand for introductions and often ends conversations with, "Thank you lord", or "I couldn't have done it without you". Needless to say, John remains one of the coolest people I know and I know that from a selfish standpoint I have so much to learn from his path, and my only wish is that our friendship has reciprocity and that I offer him comfort when I am around him in the same way that he does me.

Saturday September 5

Over the weekend, Annette and Ed (Holly and my parents), and Honeygal came to visit and pick up Holly and John's pups. John was so happy to see them and we were too! They are going to take the dogs to their home in Boerne, Texas where they will be loved 24/7 and have a doggie door and a yard and can relax and we don't have to worry about getting them walked, etc. We feel so blessed to have been given this gift to keep all three dogs together in a loving and happy environment. This was a hard transition in some ways because Holly is so used to having them around and she will miss them terribly but it will hopefully provide a level of freedom and give her the chance to immerse herself in her work while still being available to John. Holly remains in an extended stay hotel close to John which gives her the opportunity to see him every day. She has great support in that friends are either at her home or watching it closely and luckily, Holly will get home some evenings to get some routine household tasks taken care of.

Lately, John has been awakening on many levels. He sometimes says things we don't understand but if you give him the chance, and you are careful not to take things personally or out of context, he is wise, as always. The goal for him currently is for him to walk unassisted for 100 feet. I have recently been noticing that distance and would encourage you to do the same. I know that consistently we do things in life which we don't notice but I notice 100 feet now and am pretty sure that I will from now on.

Thursday September 3

This evening, I took all 3 dogs to see John (which is a trick!). This is the first time the whole family has been together in one place since June 2 and he was thrilled, picking each of them up individually and kissing and hugging them and wanting to walk them and pet them, etc. You could just tell how happy he was that they were there!

It's consistently hard for us to believe that it has been this many days since John's heart attack. We talk frequently about how things were in June and then July and it has been quite a journey for John and also for those of us who love and are close to him. We are now placated with the knowledge that he is medically stable and it feels good at moments to revel in that. But there are still times when we worry about his future, about his brain healing and about what the next steps are. We have learned that with each major change John has improved so there is comfort in knowing that even though we know there will be more changes, the improvement will continue as well. There are parts of this process which are temporary such as his stay at TIRR or his continued rehabilitation process and where that might occur but what is certain is that we know that John has been given every single possible opportunity to heal and be nurtured. We do not believe that if we were millionaires he could have received better care because there are millionaires on his wing at TIRR but we do know every day how blessed we are that John has good insurance. I'm not sure what happens when that isn't the case and that alternative is a scary one to consider.

We know that our options for predicting the future are limited and it gives us a rare opportunity to become aware that the same is true in our own lives. We cannot choose what happens to us each day and events which happen in split seconds change people and lives forever. Today, we were talking with a former patient of TIRR who still goes there for work out sessions who dove into a swimming pool wrong and didn't hit the concrete at the bottom of the pool but the simple force of him hitting the surface of the water broke his neck and rendered him paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. Now, those of you who know me know that math isn't particularly my strong point but I can't even imagine the calculations you would have to figure out the odds of that happening in that way again. He said something that sticks with me as I write..."I wish every day that I could go back and change that moment of my life". The truth is that we probably all have moments in our lives we would like to change none of which include such dire consequences.

A recent email from John's referee buddy, Jose Nava included something that I think sums up John and his situation perfectly:
"Thanks, to you and Holly for keeping the blog going, please tell John he is always my hero, and It is because he has blessed so many that he has been blessed to continue to recover."
I believe that Jose is exactly right and while we cannot change the future, we can change the present and be better for it when tragedy strikes.

Saturday August 29

I had the opportunity to spend some time with John on Friday evening and we had a pretty poignant conversation which I found intriguing and obliged to share. John was saying how he wanted to be a good person and I told him that he is. I gave a few examples to him of things he had done in the past that amazed me and he said, "Yeah but I could have done more". I simply told him that he has plenty of time and he can make whatever changes in his life he deems necessary but the biggest thing about his statements in my opinion is that they continue to improve in terms of making sense. His brain seems to be connecting more and more dots and his thought process seems to be less linear and has more depth and meaning. I'm pretty sure that in his mind his thoughts were cognizant a while back but the fact that he is able to verbalize them in a concise and understandable way at this point is pretty miraculous. John still has times when he struggles to find the right word or tell you exactly what he is trying to say but he is patient when you ask him to repeat himself.

Over the past few days, toward the end of the day, John has had some anxiety and while we are trying to tease out the cause of it, his physician's have told us that it is normal. They have begun a couple of new medications to assist John with neurological deficit and sometimes these medications cause patients to experience a range of anxiety and some even have hallucinations. We are hopeful that this is simply another step in John's healing process and as much as we have seen changes in him, we expect even more changes in the near future. It seems from the outside looking in that his brain is being constantly bombarded by information and while this is what needs to happen in order for him to recover, it's a lot to handle. I can't empathize but it reminds me of how you might feel after being in Las Vegas for several days with the lights and sounds and overwhelming amount of information which must be processed by your brain. It is hard to sleep, and hard to relax!