December 8

At times throughout John's journey we have been touched by the kindness of others. We find strength in the small things and of course in the progress that John has made over the past 6 months. Every time we start to falter in our faith we are reminded that we are blessed to know John and we can look in various directions and know that we are lucky in so many ways. At Mentis, John is surrounded by folks in similar or even worse situations. We constantly try to acknowledge the good that is happening but at times we get caught up in the, "What if's?" and the idea of how things used to be. We know that this is John's path and we have come to the realization that it is also our path. We also realize that John has made us realize that it is the subtle nuances in life which make it worth living.

I was recently with John for dinner and it was dark outside. As I told him I was leaving he unlatched his seat belt and stood and told me that he would walk me out to my car because it was dark outside and he wanted to make sure I was okay. This brought a flood of emotions into my heart and made me see that while things are different today than they were last December, John still wants to make sure those around him are safe and happy and he is such a giving soul. It was also the first time that I have been with John since June that he stood on his own without chiding from me or his therapist and there was such reciprocity in our friendship and our commitment to family. John frequently tells me that he loves me and that he hopes he will be okay and sometimes he asks me if I feel the same way. I usually respond with a gentle, yet resounding...Hell yes you will be okay!...in fact, you will be better than ever! On this particular night, I simply looked him in the eyes and put my hands on his strong shoulders and told him of all the people who have faith in him and reminded him that there are so many who are deeply invested in his well-being. I tell him of the emails I receive on a daily basis and try to reassure him that not only do most of the people who read this blog believe that he will conquer this...all that have been a part of his life feel the same way as well.

Sometimes it is hard to see John because he is in a place he hasn't been seen before. He requires help with a lot of normal activities of daily living and in the past he has been the rock for so many of us...myself included. He tells me of his gratitude but I also tell him of mine. I believe deeply that if roles were reversed it would be him writing this blog on my behalf and I don't hesitate to remind him when he thanks me for something that he would do the same for me. I'm quite sure that he would have many eccentric stories to tell about me and I have tried to share as much as possible about him as well. The truth is that I never expected to be in a situation with the healthiest, fittest man I know, that we are currently faced with, but I also know that there would be no better candidate to show us just what is possible when it seems that things are impossible. There is little doubt in my mind that John will continue to astound us and all medical professionals who come into contact with him. It's his heart which caused this journey initially but it is also his heart which will help him thrive and amaze us throughout his journey.

Over the weekend, John and Holly were able to attend their church for the first time since John had his heart attack. It was emotional but John seemed to enjoy the service and seeing some familiar faces. Our goal is to continue to slowly introduce him to some of the things he used to be deeply involved with. It is a tightrope walking affair because we have to be cognizant of the fact that he might be overwhelmed or that the stimulation is simply too much. One thing that John has always felt deeply about is his Christianity. Even when John was first at TIRR and we took him downstairs for a prayer service or when his first roomate there, (A pastor) would pray with his family, John was interested and wanted to be involved. Tonight, there was a prayer service at Mentis provided by: In God's hands Ministries, and there were 8 preachers all of whom had a different message. Holly asked him several times if he needed to leave but John wanted to stay. They both received enormous support and love and Holly said she felt so grateful and so blessed that these folks took time out of their schedules to preach at Mentis. Sometimes you can go to church and receive messages but they received messages from those who saw first-hand the love that John and Holly share in a place that most people don't even know about.

Although church is an important aspect in John's life, he also lived his life in a spiritual way. Holly and John have not bought gifts for each other for Christmas for many years instead choosing to sponsor a needy family. Holly's employer, Upchurch Kimbrough, has decided to continue this tradition sponsoring three needy families from John's school. This is an absolute honor and one John would be thrilled with because his school happens to be in an economically challenged area. Holly's co-workers have been supportive since the first morning that this happened. They were in the waiting room with us along with John's co-workers to hear about John for those first few days. They provided constant presence in the waiting room, and since then, they have given Holly the latitude to do her job while providing constant care for John at the same time.

This is a busy time of year for Holly in terms of work so there are many people who have stepped in to buy the gifts for these families and wrap and deliver them and it is an amazing thing to see a great company doing great things for their community. Upchurch Kimbrough is located less than 3 miles from Spring Branch Elementary where these needy families reside and where John works. Although the families were asked for a "Wish list", most of them put that blankets, pots and pans and food were their wishes. They will receive much more than that, and Upchurch Kimbrough and it's employees are to thank for that.